today i came to two realisations. the first is that all humans under the age of 5 are drunk. honestly, the next time you're on a train with a baby that could rip through your ear drums, or sitting on a bench and watching a toddler dismantle a sausage whilst talking to itself about the contents of the sausage, take a minute to compare it to yourself in a time of upmost drunkenness.
the second is that i'm scared of everything. for all of you spinsters struggling to find an alternative to watching repeats of come dine with me, here's my list:
1. vom/vomming/getting a whiff of vom
2. spiders
3. having msn post 30 years old
4. wasps. bees. most things with wings
5. jack nicholson
6. having my stomach pumped, after watching almost famous
7. texas
8. jackass
9. cleaning my room
10. eastenders, coronation street, emmerdale, and recently to the collection, hollyoaks
11. trago mills
12. never getting married and owning cats
13. using binoculars to perve on birds, then i've officially become my mother
14. my old biology teacher
15. on a more serious note.. anything severely bad happening to my sister
16. being alone for long periods of time
17. being inside for long periods of time
18. shoot me for being vain, but becoming fat
19. sharks
20. injections
21. infections
22. wrong directions
22. hospitals
23. giving birth
24. dying
25. polystyrene
26. choking on runner beans
27. being rolled up in a rug (and most forms of claustrophobia)
28. myspace. i was addicted to the point where i spoke in bulletins
29. my rabbit. i swear to blog (thought i'd slip in a juno quote there) it whispers my name when it's angry
30. my ceiling collapsing. wouldn't that be fun
and many more.
before i dash, just thought i'd mention my sister just called me from reading festival, and played lisztomania live by phoenix down the phone. woah nelly
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